The Mennu Blog

Holy Floiven!

Been trying to post for two days now! Donno what's up with the blogfolks. Maybe it's the upcoming election that makes people want to rant a bit more and get the "issues" out into the blogosphere. Not so for me: silliness is always at the top of my agenda.

Lord of the Flies

This morning, as I was getting ready to shower up and get to work, I found a fly in my bedroom. I don't understand why there are flies in my apartment at this time of year. I suppose they live in the building, and survive on the remains of other living things and god-knows-what-else. Flies are not very zippy or active at this time of year, so I have little to no problem catching them. I've been catching flies since my army days, when I would while away the hours on guard duty accumulating a pile of dead flies near me. As the fly buzzed above the screen of my laptop, I swiped my hand in a "fly catching motion" and caught it. I shook my hand around and confirmed that indeed I had caught the fly. It's important to feel around for the fly. If you peek with your eyes, the fly will escape. I walked over to the bathroom, shook the fly in my hand to disorient it, chucked it into the toilet and watched it get flushed. With the hunt over, I was ready to proceed with my morning bathroom routine.

As I took my glasses case out of the medicine cabinet, I noticed that there was a fly on it's back near the place vacated by the case. "Is it dead?" I wondered. It was not dead, but almost dead. This fly was soon to leave the chorus and join the Choir Invisible. I tore off a piece of toilet paper, grabbed the fly, and flushed it down the toilet. "Humh. That's that," I thought, and started brushing my teeth.

I was not five strokes into brushing when I felt a fly on my calf. "Great," I thought, "another fly. I'll deal with you in a second, as soon as I finish brushing. Perhaps you did not see the carnage I have inflicted on your kind this morning, or perhaps you did. Maybe you are here for that very reason. Maybe you are trying to get my attention because of the rage and anger you feel over your powerlessness to pose an actual threat to me. You know what the end result of this interaction will be..."

When I finished brushing, I caught the fly, and flushed it, my third fly, down the toilet.

Mennu: 3 Flies: 0.