A friend called me and said that there was a contest on The Leonard Lopate Show which involves putting googly eyes on food. Luckily, I work in a place where they keep googly eyes handy. I asked a colleague where I might find googly eyes. She took me to a closet which had a whole bunch of drawers, one of which was clearly labeled "googly eyes."
"What size do you want?"
"Big, I guess."
In retrospect, I probably should have taken an assortment of sizes. I also should have brined the turkey for less than five days: it came out a bit on the salty side. Well, not a bit, quite a lot really. I think it was salt cured. I could have sliced it raw and served it as sashimi, or carpaccio.